There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
