So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
