How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
