how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
