no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize