how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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