problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My liver just broke up with me...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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