Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
