wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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