she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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