I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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