dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
