he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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