i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
