Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
