Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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