the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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