You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
