I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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