I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
