Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
