alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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