what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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