After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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