talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
