"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
