So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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