STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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