Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
