and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
