OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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