Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
