"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
