Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I currently don't understand fingers.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
