I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
