ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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