she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
