Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My ass is underappreciated
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
