hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So many bounce houses so little time
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
