it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
