apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
operation harelip BJ is a go
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
