I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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