please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
