The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize