READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
