I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
