I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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