I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
