You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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