then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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