This girl is more easily done than said...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
