What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
