i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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