You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
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