her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
