i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we made out on top of his cat.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
