I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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