I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
